FIRST FRIDAY - Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

By Dan E

Cory Feldman in a Friday movie?? Bring it on!

After the disappointment of Part III, I was eager for a glorious comeback! The Final Chapter throws a twist in the formula by not just having a cabin of kids, but also a small family living next door. Including young Cory Feldman, who is a very welcome presence. It's nice having a kid there for a change. It makes the film feel different and fresh. And Cory Feldman is always fun to watch. He's just a cool kid. He's a clear monster fan, which makes us horror fans instantly identify with him. Who among us was not a monster fanatic as a child? 

The film opens with the shortest prologue of the sequels at this point (thank goodness), and then goes to Jason being taken to a morgue. He rises from the dead (because he's Jason), and kills two hospital employees. This is a fun scene, because it makes Jason feel like a zombie. Him rising from a morgue adds a creepy factor and definitely elevate the film for me.

Once we meet our group of crazy kids we're introduced to Back to the Future's own Crispin Glover! Another presence to make the film better! He's always great to see, especially when playing a lovable loser. Of course he's very easy to root for, even when not on his way to the Enchantment Under the Sea dance.

If you can't tell already, I really dug this movie. While I would never say it has a great script, it does seem like the most effort went into writing it since the first one. At least they try to write conversations, instead of characters just walking around together in silence, or just spouting nonsense. I also appreciate the addition of the family, as they make us care more than if it was just another group of teens. Although that may have been enough considering we get Crispin. But even so, it's better this way.

As far as kills, the film keeps them interesting. I would also argue that this one has the most brutal one, when the 'bear hunter' gets it. We actually see Jason hack him to death. We don't see much in terms of blood and gore, but the image of Jason beating him as he screams is undoubtedly horrifying.

Slasher movies often suffer when the end chase scene happens. The films tend to slow down at this point and get a little boring. This one avoids that by making it more interesting. Our final girl isn't just running from Jason, she's also protecting her little brother. Their interaction adds some interest and the director creates interesting things for them to do. The chase scene works.

I think Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is terrific. It's a great example of a slasher film with a decent script, horrifying acts of brutality, and actors we love to see.

FIRST FRIDAY - Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

 By Dan E

I'm not sure I have much to say here.

This third part in the series is essentially a remake of part 2. A group of teens/college students come to a cabin in the woods and murder ensues. There is very little to differentiate the film from Part 2. Except... it's not good. Oh, and it's in 3D. So that's fun?

Look, I know this movie really has it's fans. I know it's the favorite for some people. But this is the first of the series where it really didn't seem like the filmmakers where even trying. The characters are quite annoying. Shelly is kind of fun, it's nice seeing him stick it to the gang members. But all his self-loathing gets old real fast. And if he's supposed to be fat, why didn't they cast a fat actor? He's just a little chubby.

Did I mention the film is 3D? So naturally the director throws as much junk at the screen as possible! There's even a yoyo to the screen scene that goes on forever! It's insufferable and annoying.

Why is sleazy girl pregnant? Why? What is the point of that? It's mentioned once and never again. I think the scariest part of the movie is imagining her and her boyfriend as parents. Please no! Oh wait, they get murdered.

The stoner couple is ridiculous. They're so old. Why are they friends with these kids? They don't even seem to know each other. What are they doing there?

Am I crazy for calling the movie kind of racist? The series hasn't had any black characters until now, and they're idiot gang members. Total stereotypes in every way. It really felt wrong. But is the point of these films to feel wrong? There's an argument for that. I still didn't like it.

But here's the good news! Jason wears the hockey mask! So that's cool. As far as positives... that's about all I've got.

I don't care for this movie. It's just bottom of the barrel slasher. Nothing original. Nothing scary. No interesting characters.

*By the way, the blu ray looks like garbage.

Why you might be wrong about INSIDE OUT

By Dan E

There's one thing I need to make clear here. This is not for film critics. I know film critics love Inside Out. I know most people who really appreciate film love Inside Out. But in my daily life, I talk about movies with people quite a bit. These are just normal everyday people. What I'm finding is that most people I talk to do not care for Inside Out. "How is this possible?" I ask myself. I come to one startling conclusion. Inside Out is going over people's heads. This no doubt sounds quite insulting. A kids movie going over an adults head? How dare I say such a thing! Here's where I say something even stranger. I do not think Inside Out is a kids movie.

We Americans tend to always think that movies that are animated and are rated G-PG are always kids movies, but this is not the case. Animation is simply a medium. Other countries, obviously Japan, completely understand this and use animation for anything they want. But even here in America, just because a film is animated and doesn't have any dirty words does not make it a kids film. I think there is much for a kid to enjoy here, but a kid won't really understand it. Neither will many adults. I think why I hear many people call Inside Out "boring" is they can't answer an imprtant question. What is Inside Out about?

Inside Out is about the death of innocence. Inside Out is about the point where childhood dies and is gone forever. I've heard Toy Story 3 described in a similar way, but Toy Story is much more on the surface and on the nose about it. It's not nearly as deep. Inside Out gives what is happening in a person's brain when their innocence and childhood wonder dies a story and dramatizes it. When you view it in that way, the film becomes so much more. Inside Out tells of when your love for certain things goes away by showing that happen exactly by the 'islands' crumbling. It shows when you stop loving your family all the time and start to be annoyed with them. It shows when you let go of your imaginary friends forever. It shows when your emotions go out of control for no reason into anger and apathy.  And finally, it shows that sometimes you can be so overwelmed with saddness that expressing it is the only thing that can save you. That moment at the end of the film is the most beautiful thing I've seen all year because we've all been there. We can all relate to it.

I think Inside Out is a masterpiece and is a monumentally important film. It's a film that will not only make you think, but even teach you how you think I only hope more people will revist it and watch it on a deeper level. Because on that level, there is a deeper joy to be found.

FIRST FRIDAY - Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

By Dan E

Hey, look! It all came together!

This horror franchise's first sequel was a total blast to watch. It got eveything right that the first one got wrong. It does get some other thing's wrong though, but that's beside the point. This is an '80s slasher movie done right. I had so much fun with this film.

I am certainly no expert when it comes to slasher movies. My favorite kind of horror has always been the retro 'gothic' films of the '30s-'50s.  Universal monsters and all that jazz. Some of my favorite horror films do come from the slasher vein, but this journey through the 'Friday' movies for the first time is my first real dive into the genre. I must say, it's really working for me. I'm sure the formula will get derivitive with time, but I'm totally digging it at this point. The group of kids (or in this case, college students) get together, they hang out and have fun, a killer stalks them, and then all hell breaks loose. It's a blast. And this film is a great example.

Part 2 brings us our first real introduction to the villain of the series, Jason Voorees. He's handled very well here. Jason is simply a crazed moutian man. He was thought to have drowned in Camp Crystal Lake, but somehow he got out (because reasons). He then lives the rest of his life in a beat up shack in the woods as a total loner and lives off the land. One would wonder why he didn't go for help, but one would have to rememeber that he's hideously deformed. Maybe everyone was scared of him. Maybe no one would help him. And if you want a longer monolouge on the motivations and feelings of a slasher villain, there's a blonde in the film who gives you that. It's not great... but you know... it's there... and it goes on too long.

The characters in this film are, for the most part, fine. I do prefer the characters of the first one, and not just because I'm such a Kevin Bacon fan. Tremors anyone? Anyway. They certainly felt more interesting. The characters aren't unlikable. They're just fine. They suffice. One would hope for more, There is a couple I love here found in Mark and Vickie. Mark is stuck in a wheelchair and Vickie clearly crushes on him. They are hopelessly adorable and I loved watching them on screen, They are both completely charming and are bursting with chemestry together. I wish there was more more of them, but they aren't the final couple. Instead a blonde, generic couple is. That's a shame. I think the film really makes a mistake in choosing the final couple (normally a final girl, but here we get a couple). Mark and Vickie are the best.  #teammarkandvickie

Where this film really shines is the horror. The very long final act of Jason stalking and killing is fantastic and actually has very genuine scares. There are jump scares that work. There are shocking visuals. Jason's homemade shrine to his Momma is horrifying. I really have to give director Steve Miner credit here. He did a wonderful job building suspense and creating scares, It was wonderful.

My personal biggest complaint with the film, is the garbage prolouge. It's horrendous. We have to endure far too much time watching a 'previously on friday the 13th' set of flashbacks to the first film, and then watch our original final girl wander around a house for awhile before being murdered by Jason. Seriously? This girl had to go through hell in the first film, only to be killed off in the first ten minutes of the second for literelly no reason? It's absolute garbage and I hate it. I hate it so much. There is even a jump scare with a freaking cat. Good heavens I hate it. But then the film gets going, and I dig it.

I really enjoyed this movie and found it a terrfic example of a slasher done right. It has it's issues, but really delivers on the horror, and introduces the world to one of the most iconic characters of all time.

FIRST FRIDAY - Friday the 13th (1980)

By Dan E

I love horror films. I love them anytime of year. I can find something to appreciate in most any kind of horror film. Perhaps one day I will write a post about my passion for the genre. But this is not that. This is where I make a truly horrific confession. I have never seen the Friday the 13th franchise. Well, I had seen one of the later sequels. But that was it. So it is hear that I embark on a dangerous journey. I just got the Friday the 13th blu-ray boxset and it's time to go through the series! I'm making this a blog series called FIRST FRIDAY. I'll try, at least once a week, to go through the series in order and offer my thoughts. How often do you get to hear a first impression on Friday the 13th in 2015? Well you can here!

The original Friday the 13th is a fascinating film. This is a film that started, not only a wildly successful film franchise, but also a string of horror movie knock offs that still continue to this day. And it did it all... without being all that great. Now hold on here! I'm not here to dog on this movie. Actually, I quite liked it! Let's talk about why.

This horror movie works best when the horror isn't going on. This is because the teen lead characters are actually quite likable. What's really bizarre about them is they are really old souls and oddly cultured. These kids do impressions of film stars of the golden age of Hollywood. One girl wears an old lady night gown to bed. Another boy is amazingly skilled on guitar. But not like he's an Eddie Van Halen fan! No, he plays classical guitar. Is all of this normal for teens of the '80s? I don't think so. One could call this a flaw in that the screenwriters have no idea what teens are like. I choose to believe this was done on purpose to make the characters interesting. I think it works!

These kids are also unusual in that they are oddly nice and sweet. A staple of slasher films is the 'bad kids' always die. But the bad kids here aren't that bad at all. The couple that has sex (Jeannine Taylor and a very young Kevin Bacon) seem to really care about each other. They aren't the sleazy couple from Halloween. Their relationship feels very genuine and kind of sweet. We don't watch them as a couple of party kids who are morons. We watch them remembering our own first love from our teenager years, and we sympathize with them for this reason. Am I going too far? I really don't think so. This makes it more sad when these characters die, and ultimately more effective. Friday the 13th is a cut or two above many slashers for this reason.

The movie makes good use of practical effects for some very effective kills. Certainly Kevin Bacon's death makes no sense. How did the killer know to get under THAT bed? But there is another kill with an axe to the face that is quite horrifying and very well made. In that way, the horror works.

 Unfortunately, Friday the 13th is famous for a very fascinating reason. There is no Jason. While the original Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street movies can be remembered for introducing horror icons (and for being freaking brilliant films), this one can not. Now I can deal with a slasher movie without a great villain. But here we get Mrs. Voorhees. A villain who looks your childhood friend's mom who lives next door. She's not scary at all and is a huge let down. For this reason, all horror attempts fail as soon as she walks in front of the camera. What a shame.

The movie falling short of great is not all her fault, though. There are definite pacing issues where the film gets quite slow in the middle. The film also has many things ripped off from others. The obvious of course being the film opening with a POV murder scene right out of Halloween. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the movie as a whole, mostly due to the likable and very odd characters. It's a fun watch no doubt! And it makes me excited to continue in the series!

5 Reasons Why 'THE LOST WORLD' is the Best Jurassic Park Sequel

By Daniel Epler

Jurassic World is getting a lot of attention lately. Maybe because it now has had the highest global opening weekend in history. But if there’s one thing I know for sure it’s that there are a lot of differing opinions on it. Some people love it, some people just think it’s mindless fun, and some people hate it. But one thing I’m hearing more than anything is that it’s the best Jurassic Park sequel. Love it or hate it, at least it’s better than the last two. But is it really? Or are we just remembering it wrong? Today I’m going to give 5 REASONS why The Lost World is the best Jurassic Park sequel, and not Jurassic World.

1. The Lost World is Much Better Than You Remember - When I was a kid, I was on the ‘Lost World is garbage’ bandwagon. Where was the fun? Where were the bright colors? Where was Sam Neill? But now that I’m older I’ve come to a startling conclusion. The Lost World is a way better film than I gave it credit for. I think the reason the movie doesn’t work for so many people is you really have to change your mindset away from the first. Most sequels are a new story, but still feel a lot like the first. This one doesn’t. It couldn’t be more different from the original. It’s a far darker and far more violent film than the first. It’s not as fun. The island has turned from a place of wonder and discovery into a war zone. But is that a bad thing? We can’t really punish Spielberg for trying something new and different. Is that not what we want in sequels? Or do we just want more ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ type sequels where we’ve seen it all before? I’ll go for new and different.
   
2. Jeff Goldblum - Look, the reason Jurassic World worked for me as much as it did is largely due to how great Chris Pratt is. But even so, he can’t compare to Dr. Ian Malcolm. Jeff Goldblum brings such incredible charm to his role that you can’t help but love him. In the first film he’s ‘the cool guy’. He wears all black, he’s smooth with the ladies, he talks about chaos theory and makes it sound good. He’s about as charming as charming gets. In the second, he’s still all those things, but he’s given more depth. He’s not a supporting anymore, he's the lead and the writers give us more insight into him as a person so we care about him even more. We meet his daughter and see him struggle to be a father. We see him fight for his girlfriend’s safety. We see the only reason he’ll go back to this horrible island is just to protect who he loves. Not for a job. Not for money. But for love. Beat that Pratt.
3. It’s Smarter - Malcolm’s daughter gymnastics kicking a raptor in the face was dumb. No one’s denying that. But beyond that, it’s a pretty smart film. It’s a film that treats its characters with respect, and gives them proper character motivations for their actions. There’s a story that makes sense. The movie even sees fit to give us something totally different in the third act. And best of all, no one wants to make super raptor soldiers. That’s right. No Captain America Raptors. I think we can all get on board for that.
4. The Music - Guys. John Williams does the music. In the latest film, Michael Giacchino’s score is….. fine. It’s ok. It’s unmemorable. The film doesn’t even know how to use the original theme by playing it when we don’t even see any dinosaurs. It plays while we marvel at the park that is a representation of the dark side of consumerism. In The Lost World we get the master the whole way through. What a treat!
5. Everyone’s Favorite Dinosaurs are Scary - Jurassic World has a real dinosaur problem. The main monster (it’s a monster not a dinosaur) is so built up to be the biggest and the baddest, that the T-Rex and the Raptors take a backseat. They aren’t scary. They are assets for Christ Pratt. Even in the end *spoilers for Jurassic World* after the dinosaurs kill the monster, all the humans breath a sigh of relief. Because apparently a T-Rex and a pack of Raptors are nothing to worry about? I guess not because they just walk away and don’t attack anyone. When did the King of the Dinosaurs become a gentle Brontosaurus? *end of spoilers* In The Lord World the T-Rex’s mean business. They are out to hunt and kill and it is glorious. The Lost World also uses practical effects very brilliantly which adds to the feeling of the creatures realism greatly. Jurassic World has a big problem with that.

Overall, I did have some fun with the new film. But I really don’t respect it too much. It has too many problems. It’s watchable for me as something to shut my brain off to. But that’s not my favorite thing to do. Most of the time I’d rather watch The Lost World and experience something I can really respect and appreciate.

ALOHA - It Must Be Seen to be Believed

By Daniel Epler

There's a reason some films are labeled a "train wreck". Train wrecks are a horrific thing. Everything has gone so vastly wrong that results in a brutal tragedy. And it's so huge and so horrible you can't look away. You're fascinated by the catastrophe. Aloha by Cameron Crowe.... is a train wreck.

Aloha is a romantic comedy from wonderful film maker Cameron Crowe and it should be exactly the kind of film I would love. I love Hawaii. I love romantic films. And I love Cameron Crowe. But I am utterly fascinated by how terrible a failure Aloha is. It's about Bradley Cooper as... a washed out army man... and he works for billionaire... and needs to set off a satellite.... and all the while Emma Stone is going to follow him around to be his body guard... and there's going to be Hawaiian legends.... and missals.... and Chinese terrorist hacks.... I think. I'm doing the best I can to explain this. It's such a mess.

Besides the fact that the script's plot is jumbled and doesn't make sense (and I don't understand how you make a romantic comedy have too convoluted a plot), the dialog is atrocious. No one acts like a real human being in this movie. They say insane things that make no sense, and then retort back with more insane things. People suddenly get crazy angry for no reason, and then get romantically exited for more nonsense. The performances are mostly terrible, although I can't fault the actors. I have to believe it's the script and direction. Emma Stone is particularly awful as she channels Jim Carrey and thinks she's in Dumb and Dumber To. I truly cannot believe how insanely over the top she is. She's such a wonderful actress and is so charming, I can't begin to understand what she was thinking. At least she mellows out a bit once the script doesn't want us begging her to get off screen any more. Bradley Cooper seems fine, but when you look closer you realize he has no idea who his character is. He gives a generic performance of the generic cool guy, even though he's supposed to be a damaged, beaten down war veteran who's messed up.

There's another plot going on where Cooper reconnects with an old girlfriend, played by Rachel Mcadams. Here lies my biggest issue with the film. First of all, the whole story line doesn't fit in in the least. It's a whole other film shoved into this already convoluted plot because I guess McAdams hadn't hit her romance movie quota for the year. But it could be interesting, right? Maybe the two of them have that old romantic spark. But the problem is McAdams is married to a good man (played by John Krasinski) and has two kids. But the movie doesn't care about them. This film drags Krasinski's character through the mud and treats him with zero respect. McAdams immediately gets flirty with Cooper with no care whatsoever to how her husband would feel about it, and the husband doesn't even react to any of this till the third act. Why is she doing this? We don't even see them have any marriage problems until much later in the film. And the problem they have is so incredibly ridiculous and cartoonish that it can't possibly be taken seriously. So now we get McAdams and Cooper sitting around, flirting, and making fun of her good, decent and hard working husband. I found these scenes not only revolting, but completely nonsensical. It further proves the point that no character in this movie has any idea how to act like a real person.

There are so many great actors in this film. But Bill Murray is totally miscast and just gives us a series of very uncomfortable moments that go on way too long. Alec Baldwin yells so much he might think he's in a spoof movie, and Danny Mcbride... well he was fine I suppose. But there's really nothing to recommend about this movie. There are two moments at the end that I think work, but that's really it. This movie even makes Hawaii look unappealing. I have never seen that before. It left me dying to watch 'The Decedents' for the 100th time. I'm still a great respecter of Cameron Crowe and most of his work, but he has a huge hole to dig himself out of from this one. I'm still glad I saw this movie. I really think it's a movie so bad in such epic proportions that it must be seen to be believed. See it if you dare.